Short Treatise on Crazy Women.

I am not sure if that ignoramus is suffering from a bout of mental illness or this is a normal reaction for her. If it is the former, its forgivable. Anything else would warrant a immediate phone call to the authorities. And by authorities I am referring to a sanitarium.

Through her incoherent ramblings I was able to make out the words “hoe” and “pimp slap”. I think she is considering a career in rap music. Why? I will never know. I believe this is a side effect of inhaling too much Formaldehyde. Perhaps this should be the focus of my new research project. The neurological effects of chemical inhalation on the feeble brains of mediocre bench monkeys.

 She continued her rambling until she spied an issue of The Watchmen in my bookshelf. After spotting said object, she immediately sent it airborne towards me. Once that action had satisfied her, she marched out of my apartment. But not before she took my baked goods hostage.

I would now like to remind you that those cookie do not belong to you. They were not, I repeat, not baked for you. Please act like a rational individual and return then at your earliest convenience. Preferably by replacing them with a box of macaroons. (If you need a suggestion of what I would like left on my desk, this would be it.)

drthomashildern:

bigpimpinfrumentarius:

drthomashildern:

bigpimpinfrumentarius:

Soooo jelly. Like you would NOT believe….

You sound like a crazed motorist ran over your dog. Is this jealously directed towards me? Have you finally come to your senses and realized the true…

 I am not impressed. You are small, skinny brunette that I do not particularly see as a threat. If I was I lesser man, I would challenge you and finally put to rest your false notion of physical supremacy.

(via bigpimpinfrumentarius-deactivat)

I AM JELLY

bigpimpinfrumentarius:

drthomashildern:

bigpimpinfrumentarius:

Soooo jelly. Like you would NOT believe….

 You sound like a crazed motorist ran over your dog. Is this jealously directed towards me? Have you finally come to your senses and realized the true man of genius that I am?

NO THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU OLD MAN! I AM… SO… //sobs like a fangirl

HILDERN I NEED A HUG!!!

Acting like a buffoon as usual I see. Please stay away from my apartment. Thank you and good night.

(via bigpimpinfrumentarius-deactivat)

I am God’s gift to the Scientific community

This is true. You should have come to this conclusion sooner, bench monkey.

I AM JELLY

bigpimpinfrumentarius:

Soooo jelly. Like you would NOT believe….

 You sound like a crazed motorist ran over your dog. Is this jealously directed towards me? Have you finally come to your senses and realized the true man of genius that I am?

(via bigpimpinfrumentarius-deactivat)

bigpimpinfrumentarius:

I know your advanced age forces you to go to bed early. And because you are asleep right now, I feel like I should apologize to you. I am sorry for all the adventures and good times I have while you are sleeping. I regret all the memorable shenanigans, unspeakable debauchery, and wild hedonistic…

Instead of wasting my time giving you an elaborate explanation of why your assumptions are false, I will sum up my sentiments in one word: no.

(via bigpimpinfrumentarius-deactivat)

In reality me and Hildern…

bigpimpinfrumentarius:

We are like a couple of bros! And we do bro things! Like fist pumping! And getting tans! Wearing matching aviator glasses! And acting like stereotypical college idiots!!!

What are you doing? You should be asleep right now. I don’t want to deal with you when you are sleep deprived and even more irrational than usual. Besides, when you are suffering from extreme fatigue your performance in your classes will be unsatisfactory to say the least.

(via bigpimpinfrumentarius-deactivat)

bigpimpinfrumentarius:

Did not go as well as he expected. He thought we would be swimming in hot women but instead he spent it alone at the bar. Not even his most wonderful assistant dared to keep him company on that tragic night of lonesome alcoholism. Perhaps it was because he was too busy being preoccupied with his…

 

Yes I was very preoccupied with my “problems” that night. Thank you for your concern.

(via bigpimpinfrumentarius-deactivat)

bigpimpinfrumentarius:

OH SNAP! GUESS WHOSE PONCEAU STAIN FOR IP WAS DA BOMB?! MINE WAS!!!! (mine is on the right side of the ladder :3)

 

bigpimpinfrumentarius:

OH SNAP! GUESS WHOSE PONCEAU STAIN FOR IP WAS DA BOMB?! MINE WAS!!!! (mine is on the right side of the ladder :3)

 

(via bigpimpinfrumentarius-deactivat)

shayraeingame:

dunnaintdone:

I guffawed when I saw this shit, hahahaha

I.. I’m old.. it’s official. CRUEL WORLD TAKE ME. T_T quite amusing to say the least.

This is amusing.

shayraeingame:

dunnaintdone:

I guffawed when I saw this shit, hahahaha

I.. I’m old.. it’s official. CRUEL WORLD TAKE ME. T_T quite amusing to say the least.

This is amusing.